Look at these 3 gorgeous cherubs. I think they’re pretty damn amazing 😉
But, there are times I’ve screamed & I’ve yelled at these sweet little faces 😔
Recently, after 3 very long months of trying to manage Ruby’s reflux via natural means, we finally bit the bullet, saw the doc, & got some reflux meds for her to try.
I made up the syringe and bit by bit tried to get it all into Ruby’s mouth.
Well, let’s just say it was nothing short of an absolute disaster! Ruby screamed blue bloody murder, then sounded like she was choking on the stuff. It was absolutely horrendous, stressful and scary.
While I’m here (not too quietly freaking out about Ruby) Zac and Isla started fighting- AGAIN.
Cue crying and whinging…….and at this point, I just lost it. I screamed ‘SHUT. UP!!’ at the absolute top of my lungs.
It was deep, dark, and the tone even scared me.
Immediately, I felt the heaviness creep in. Tears started to flow (from all of us!).
I’m embarrassed I couldn’t hold I together.
I’m mortified my neighbours heard and think I’m a terrible mother.
I feel out of control because I let my emotions get the better of me.
I’m just generally feeling guilty and ashamed.
(And….decides to start putting money aside for my kids future therapy 🥺)
Some days I feel like I’m truly nailing this motherhood gig.
We laugh. We cuddle. My mini-humans show me they’re listening & learning, & I see the best in me!
Other days, it just all feels soooo incredibly hard.
‘The Rage’ obviously isn’t a response to just one thing. It’s thanks to the frayed nerves that result from an accumulation of:
ALL the whining,
ALL the crying,
ALL the backchatting,
ALL the complaining,
ALL the tantrums,
ALL the fighting,
THE sheer exhaustion that results from little to no sleep,
AND the crippling mental load us mums carry, day after day.
I’ve found meditation, some time to myself occasionally, eating well, and getting outside for exercise helps me to be a more patient person, & more aware of myself. But I still haven’t found my #magicpill
Have you experienced #mumrage?
What have you found helps you?